Category Archives: love

I Believed. Now For Love.

Believe.

That was my primary oneword365.com focus for 2016.  As I went to remove my 2016 wall calendar, I couldn’t help but smile when I read December’s message: “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” A reminder that the journey is mostly mental.

The word “believe” served me well throughout the year. I learned to believe that I could trust myself again and I watched as incredible opportunities surfaced. Even when I wavered, deep inside, I understood that waiting, impatiently, was just a manifestation of not being able to control the Universe’s timing.  Like clockwork, an inanimate reminder of the word, on a pillow or wall plaque at Home Goods, or a quote on social media would draw my attention back. Believe. One word. A simple idea with boundless application.

But alas, it’s time is almost up.  A new year, a new beginning. I tuck the word away in my memory portal as the new arrival gently beckons for my attention. I curate a new word, just four letters, and I welcome its debut.

“Hello 2017; you look so inviting. This year will be all about ‘LOVE.’”

Just What is An “Odd” Emotion?

embrace your emotionsWhile performing social media consulting work for a child psychologist, my eyes were drawn to a Psychology Today magazine sitting in the office lobby.  The headline for the cover story read “Odd Emotions:  Master The Feelings You Can’t Name.” The title alone was intriguing enough to stoke my interest because, well, I’m a “highly sensitive person” and I often experience emotions that I can’t quite name or explain.

There Are Just No Adequate Words, Or Are There?

So-o-o…not too long ago, I struggled with understanding some emotions that I can best describe as a ball of intertwined feelings occurring simultaneously. It felt like an explosive double roundhouse kick to the gut from mixed martial artist Ronda Rousey that left me dazed, confused, hurt, angry, scared, humiliated, and traumatized.  And those are just a few of the emotions that converged upon my spirit in one fell swoop. But the worst part was not being able to explain or comprehend the emotions, nor that no one else seemed to understand it, either.

Fast forward to the other side of my multifarious emotions, I discover that these “odd” feelings really don’t have one name.  When artist and writer John Koenig was not able to label his emotions of pending death, he just invented one, “moriturism,” and says “it [his emotions] felt somehow okay.” He then created a website that serves as a dictionary describing emotions that have no name using a combination of creativity, linguistic research, and etymology to assign a name and meaning. For instance, “exulansis,” he has determined is a noun which means

“the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it—whether through envy or pity or simple foreignness—which allows it to drift away from the rest of your life story, until the memory itself feels out of place, almost mythical, wandering restlessly in the fog, no longer even looking for a place to land.”

The word is a present verb from its Latin root exulō, which means “to exile, banish.”

Fluff or For Real?

You may be wondering, if people really remember or use these words. Highly likely not, but psychologists suggest in the article that naming or labeling an emotion “might make it more manageable,” “allow us the opportunity to choose our response,” and “help to put a frame around more complex emotions.” I would agree with them, because I believe being able to name what I was previously feeling would have helped to redirect my energy because I spent a lot of time just processing my emotions and the experience.

Others may see it as a pointless exercise that probably won’t be useful, but Koenig believes it helps individuals to understand that the same indescribable emotions they are feeling have been felt by others. The experience may also encourage the practice of honoring one’s sensitivity and personal emotions in a constructive manner. That’s a lot less exhausting than the alternative, which is running from or suppressing emotions in hopes of an exulansis.

What do you think about “odd” emotions?  Are there inventive words you’ve heard or used to describe an emotion or even an experience, whether good or bad?  Would love to read your thoughts in the comments.

51 Weeks To Go and Counting

BELIEVEWith one full week of 2016 in the bag, I’ve noticed the trend in my social media circles to claim one “power word” rather than resolutions.  It actually makes a lot of sense to me, and hopefully to you, too.

With good intention, people make resolutions they plan to commit to in a new year. But once the holiday season is done and people get back into their daily grinds, resolutions can often fall by the wayside. Some people have become so disappointed with making resolutions, that they don’t even make them anymore; they just roll into the new year hoping for the best.

As my 23-year-old son pointed out to me, “People can resolve to improve at any time of the year, so it’s not a big thing.”  Responding with Mother Wisdom, I told him, “Yes, young wise one but the new year is like an automatic reset for many people to try again to accomplish something meaningful.”  Then I shared with him the trend of the Power Words, and he actually agreed with me that doing this seems more intentional, purposeful, and easier to commit.

The thing with identifying a Power Word is it can transcend any moment or area of your life.  For instance, if you choose “Thrive” as your power word, it can apply to goals for eating healthier and exercise.  Even if you messed up on a diet, your power word can be a constant reminder that any small accomplishment, like walking the stairs, is a move in the right direction. Thrive may even mean seeking a better paying job because you learned a new skill, or spending more time with a loved one just because.  It’s all thriving and you set the bar for what that means in your life.

So I picked two words that resonated with my spirit, BELIEVE (for the good that flows all around me) and FREEDOM (from anything that doesn’t serve me).  It is my intention and purpose to believe in the possibility of whatever my heart desires, because I know it’s poimg_2317ssible, and to be free from ANY thing, person, idea or thought that doesn’t serve my highest and best. Ironically, after I christened my words as part of my 2016 mantra, the word “BELIEVE” surfaced immediately in an image that adequately expressed my sentiments.

So what is your Power Word for 2016?  It’s never too late to pick one, or even change or add words. It’s for your personal edification to serve as a “compass that directs your decisions and guides your steps,” according to the One Word 365 community.  I recently learned about this social media community as I began to research the purpose behind the movement, and am sharing for anyone who may be interested (preview at http://oneword365.com/).

So here’s to your highest and best throughout 2016, to live with intention and purpose ALWAYS.

Half A Century Sounds Old But There Is Hope

tshirt

Inspired To Make A Difference Tee by N. Ann Hall

There is so much happening in the world now that it takes daily intentional mindfulness to just stay in the moment. And one of the things that I recognize is that I’m very blessed and appreciative of life and all of my experiences because they have shaped me into the intelligent, loving and empathic person that I am. So as I look forward to celebrating my 50th birthday later this year, I wanted to find some creative ways to honor my life and share hope, inspiration and love to others. Since I won’t be taking the tropical vacation I had hoped for, I’m making my celebration interactive so others can join in with me as I give back to the Universe in thanksgiving for my being.

My first act of celebration is a tee-shirt I created which is very simple but has a nice message. You can preview and purchase at http://teespring.com/inspired-to-make-a-difference. Proceeds will be donated to a nonprofit serving women and girls’ interests.

I also plan to randomly give away 50 small gifts to people I don’t know between now and August, my birth month. It will probably be small gestures like pay for someone’s cup of coffee or give someone a $5 gift card. We’ll see all of the ways that I come up with and I will write about it in August.

Another upcoming idea is creating a list of 50 things about me, inspired by Author Trainer Shelley Hitz, who I met at the NAMS12 Conference (and if you don’t know about NAMS and have an interest in Internet Marketing, you are really missing out). But my twist will be finding 50 people to share something – hopefully nice – about me that I can share.

That’s it for now but please, feel to pass along birthday suggestions. It may seem like I have time but August will be here before we know it. But in the meantime, stop by teesprings.com and order a shirt (http://teespring.com/inspired-to-make-a-difference).  And if you are looking for more inspiration on how to make your life, business or the world awesome, learn more about the WWAYD promotion from Nicole Dean (who I also met at the NAMS12 Conference).

Enjoy Life…

Men, Relationships and Masterdating

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Dating has its challenges and becomes even trickier during the holidays. Factor in an awkward lack of dating skills and one could find themselves alone and lonely. With back to back holiday celebrations such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, News Year’s Eve, with Valentine’s Day arriving shortly thereafter, it’s no wonder a single person can feel helplessly hopeless. But then there’s online dating, and that, too can be challenging, especially for someone newly single from a marriage or long term relationship. According to dating industry stats at datingreviewsites.com, men seem to take the biggest hit when meeting someone online because they make 80% of the initial contacts with only 25% response rate. That’s a lot of rejection and pressure if a man is really seeking a serious relationship. It would lead a man (and women) to wonder what he could be doing wrong.

According to relationship expert George Reagan, dating for a man is all perspective, preparation and having a game plan, he shares in his new book Masterdate: The Handy Guide to Internet Dating for Guys. The 150+ page book is a quick read and fun “how to” guide with a lot of practical advice and solid information such as writing a good online profile, tips on how to effectively search online for someone with common goals and interests, how to easily relate to women, writing the first email, and what should happen during your first meeting. George is an excellent, methodical and prolific writer who mastered success in online dating and wants to share his secrets with guys about how easy, fun and rewarding dating can be. I will admit that initially I was turned off by the title “Masterdate” because I thought he was presenting an innocuous sex guide cloaked under the guise of dating tips and would be a tongue-in-cheek dating advice tips. For example, he includes highlighted sections throughout the book called

Relationship Expert and Author George Reagan.  Follow him on Twitter at @masterdate48 and @writerreagan

Follow Relationship Expert and Author George Reagan on Twitter at @masterdate48 and @reaganwriter.

T&A but it’s really his effort to share his exciting Tales/stories and Advice so guys don’t make some of the same mistakes he initially made. I quickly recognized that George is marketing genius for creating imagery, illusion and interest in his book. After all, sex is a major goal for men and successful dating helps them eventually reach their goal, so George speaks their language to keep the interest. But what George has really created in 13 engaging chapters is a no-holds barred honest male perspective on dating that begins with asking men to become their own harsh critic. Any man that is truly serious about getting out of a dating rut or just to begin dating again and finding love, will not want to put this book down. Even as a woman, I found it to be a very insightful look at dating from a male perspective and have recommended it as a resource for men inquiring about love advice.

With 2015 knocking at the back door, what are you waiting for? If you know a man (a sibling, best friend) struggling with the dating scene or new to dating, he may just need a nudge, so here’s a great gift to share this holiday season. After all, everyone deserves #finding4reallove, and Masterdate provides the required knowledge, technique, and advice to effectively prepare them for optimum dating success.

Love is a Magnifier

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© Nbvf | Dreamstime.com – Word Love Under The Magnifier Isolated Photo

Love is a funny thing because there exists such a wide range of emotions to describe the concept yet what remains constant about love is that it is needed, actually, required for human life to survive and thrive.  The example I present today is the wellspring of love radiating from the family of 13 year-old Jahi McMath, who continues to show the world what love, conscious resolve, and a lot of determination can do.

If you are not familiar with the story of Jahi, she is the young girl who was declared brain dead following complications from from a surgical procedure.  The family disagreed with this and fought to have Jahi to remain on life support, which ultimately resulted in Jahi being moved from her home state of California to New Jersey.  While a death certificate was issued in California, the family has recently released video of Jahi appearing to make movements with her feet and hands at the sound of her Mother’s voice.  You can view videos here for yourself…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsSeM0RVKuA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh4YC-XjG9k

Now, when I watch this, I feel and experience a Mother’s love and determination that is incomparable to any other type of love.  I don’t know or care what the medical textbooks may or may not say about Jahi’s condition because what I just witnessed was a young girl who can hear her Mom’s voice and she is responding to it.  It reminds me of a few times when I was in a deep sleep but I guess partially asleep when I could hear people talking but I couldn’t wake up.  I was fighting so hard in my sleep to wake up and it took a lot of work and energy.  One time I was able to wake up and thought that experience was the weirdest thing but afraid to discuss it with anyone because surely I didn’t think they would believe me. Another time, I couldn’t wake myself up and remember falling back into sleep feeling defeated that I couldn’t wake myself up.  Now, I am a healthy adult and know what that felt like and it was very scary to even be in that kind of state and actually witness it but not able to do anything about it.  I can’t even imagine what is happening with Jahi and her hearing voices, no less, her Mom’s voice, and she is trying hard to respond.  Now let me interject, I in know way am trying to compare my dream-state experience with what has tragically happened to Jahi, but my goal is to paint a picture of being in a place of helplessness and needing help but no one knows that you need help or even how to help.

In watching these videos, I profess that this is what real love looks like (to me).  You never give up no matter what the odds are.  While my goal for this post is not to stir up any debates about life support and the state of being brain dead, or quality of life, I would like to share the story of unconditional, uncompromising, steadfast love.  We can talk about the different types of love and suggest that a parent’s love is different than the love of a man and woman.  But is there really a difference? Say’s who? When real, genuine love exists in your heart,  it is like a faucet that can’t be turned off.  You respond to love in kind with love and it’s a force that can’t be stopped.

So my message is to never give up on love. The emotion may have to shift in intensity at times, and the timing and proper perspective should guide the intensity of love, but the power and resoluteness of love should never be questioned.  It is definitely something that every human should unequivocally experience. Jahi is so blessed and fortunate to have that type of love that surrounds her, encourages her and keeps her elevated in a realm that we will never be able to understand. While truly none of us really knows what is going on with Jahi and should refrain from judgment and politicizing something very sensitive and real for her family, we cannot deny that love is truly a magnifier that reveals that all things are possible, and it’s okay to be believe in miracles.

 

Love…Date…Relate…

An OnlinLove rocke Radio Talk Show

Join me as I host a relationship talk show called Love, Date and Relate with Ask A Love Goddess, an online relationship advice resource, along with Ms. B, a licensed professional and national board certified counselor, life and relationship coach and author, and Blu.J, a relationship expert with TarotBound.

Recent Broadcasts

To preview recent broadcasts, visit http://www.askalovegoddess.com/love-date-relate-radio-broadcast.html. We are still working out the format and during the show’s pilot phase, we are broadcasting live on Sunday evenings with topic guests and co-hosts and uploading to Blog Talk Radio as well as to the Ask A Love Goddess website.  Eventually, the show will become more interactive and welcome live guests to participate with questions and commentaries.

Engage Audience Participation

In the meantime, if you have questions or topics of interest related to love, dating and relationships, please email them to my attention at divaninawrites@gmail.com for consideration as discussion topics.  As well, we are always seeking interesting love and romance stories to highlight and share on the website.

Follow the Show

Lastly, follow our show on Twitter at @askalovegoddess using the hashtag #finding4reallove, and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/askalovegoddess?ref=hl.